“I’d like to know more about you. Tell me about yourself.”
“What would you like to know?”
“Anything. Everything. Whatever you’re willing to share.”
“Well, I have three tattoos.”
“Oooh, really. Where... dare I ask?”
“Oh, you’d like to know wouldn’t you?”
“Yeah, I would. That’s why I’m asking.”
“Heh, well I could show you.”
“O.K.”
“Not here! Somewhere private.”
“When?”
“I have to get to you know you first.”
“You little tease. Getting to know you... Isn’t that what we’re doing right now?”
“Yeah…I guess.”
“Hey, what are you drinking?”
“Vodka Tonic.”
“Want another?”
“You buying?”
“No you are. I’ll have a Jaeger Bomb.”
“...you’re kidding right?”
“Why would I be kidding?”
“Well, isn’t the guy supposed to buy the girl the drink?”
“Do we?”
“Yeah...”
“Where is that written? Let’s break the rules tonight.”
“It’s not written, it’s a known fact. The guy always buys the lady a drink.”
“I never heard of it.”
“I'll bet you haven't. Well... you are cute.”
“Cute?”
“Is that bad?”
“Cute would be a word you’d use to describe a puppy, or a purse.”
“OK you're hot. Better? Although I think you might already know that.”
“I didn't know that actually. Thanks. Hot enough to buy a drink?”
“No. I still think you should be buying me one.”
“How about I make you one... at my place. Let’s go. It’s close...We can get to know each other better.”
“Are you a player?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Oh, you charmer.”
“I know what I like.”
“I normally don’t do this…”
“Neither do I. Ain’t it CRAZY?”
“What about my friend?”
“What about her?”
“She brought me.”
“She’ll be ok. She looks like a big girl, and… hey where is your friend?”
“I don’t know.”
“Exactly.”
26 comments:
stop speaking french. you're going to make me want to have sex with you.
i call guys cut all the time. its a good thing. but guys never like it when they hear it. cute=good looking. take the damn compliment!
btw, i cannot believe you got her home that easy...if you really did get her home...if that was a real conversation and not total fiction.
Jazz. No, it's a small "clip" of a much longer fictional, or possibly true, conversation. It's very condensed. I don't think there's anyone out there this good. Or should I say, no woman out there this easy. Well, actually they are out there, I've met a few. I take that back.
Maybe we men have all had a conversation with a woman like this at least once. Sometimes it's a bad girl, cheap girl, or nice girl looking to be bad. Maybe.
Sar. This piece is symptomatic of a typical one-night stand. Bad girl or not, I have no fucking idea, no clue. As a guy in a situation such as this, you merely follow the signals. Play along. Stare at her mouth and smile and somehow you come out to be this guy who "understands." Anyhow, All I am certain of is both parties in this moment, this random fragment in time which could take place in any city, feel blind desire...or drunken stupidity. Or loneliness. Or macho bravado. Hell, I don't don't it depends enitirely on the person. Our motivation varies.
Atdreeyin. It's a chauvinist piece. I figured... what the fuck? I'm fresh out of ideas... and irritable. ;)
I know you've been there. We all have. Ah, youth
We've all been there. Sometimes, it's just nice to be wanted. Even if it is only temporary.
Sar, depends how moralistic you are about sex. There've been times when a one-night stand has seemed a wonderful notion for me. But I've always been more the multiple-encounter type, I guess. That said, I haven't gotten around much. Still hold on to SOME of the old catholic morality. I just happen to also be a huge fan of sex. Oh, the dilemma.
I've been getting a strange amount of guy attention lately and I'm looking forward to a playful conversation like this, which likely wouldn't lead to much more than a heavy makeout session, but hey. Innuendo rocks. It's such a turn-on.
it's a nice piece to read on an early morning, rythmic conversation unburdened by she saids and other elements of description.
not to say your narrative pieces are boring, fuck here i go again writing not what i mean, but this sort of brief direct talk is a good interlude.
are we done with the "ah youth" thing because this will soon become like those sunlit rooms in retirement homes. "Ah back in those days".
I'm so glad I didn't go out last night. If I had gone out, reading this would have been a depressing contrast to my evening. My ego can't take too much of that, you know.
And you know, I never get tired of being called "cute." It's a lot better than, say, "oh my god, what's up with your hair?"
yeah you could rank the worst adjectives like nice, cute, interesting, funky, groovy, hot, on fire, cool and all the rest from worst to bearable. But our host hermes doesn't like lists. Nor do these readers probably. Hum.
Tacit: You grasped my point. I'm not the sort to actually participate in the casual, one-night-stand thing. But I could see having this sort of teasing conversation. It's a safe, public place and it would stroke my ego to have someone blatently flirt this way. At times, my ego needs the stroking more than... well... you get the idea.
If the first thing one feels important to share about themselves is "I have three tattoos," you can probably whisk them into a back room and have at it.
It doesn't say much for their general intelligence, so enjoy yourself and then run like hell.
As Steff said, who said it would lead up to sex? I never did. That was all of YOU GUY'S dirty minds filling in the gaps. ;)
Wordwhiz. I see what you mean. Yeah, it is just harmless flirting between two consenting, attractive adults. And yes, It is nice to feel desired.
Sar. "Said the blind man to his deaf wife as their quadriplegic children ran up and down the stairs" So I guess you still don't get it? Well, you tried, and that does my heart proud! It's OK to disagree. You're a classy girl.
LeeLoreya. Yes, it's time to drag my knuckles to 2005, here and now. I will write more stories in the present miss. Ever see Princess Bride? "As you wish."
Oh, I learned to despise those lists just recently. Some clever girl I know pointed out how pretentious they truly are. ;)
Digitalicat. To quote the great one, Gretzky "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Yeah, rejection is part of the game. I figure if I'm batting 0.36 that's still pretty damn good. It's somthing ya know?
Tacit. You're right. You'd be suprised, a lot of women, and they're not necessarily whores, appreciate honesty. Cut to the chase as you say. Especially as women age, they are truer to their "innate desires."
Sierrabella. "If the first thing one feels important to share about themselves is "I have three tattoos," you can probably whisk them into a back room and have at it." LMAO. Perfect! I left a few nuances in this suggesting what kind of a person I (the character) is and the girl we were dealing with. You caught one of them.
Steff. I know exactly what you mean. And yes, a lot of the time, a situation like this will invariably lead to some heavy petting and making out... or sometimes, just sometimes, someone puking on themselves in the bathroom and passing out.
sar I've heard the analogy with good wine very often. Apparently some women get better with age. But if you take men, the comparison is much more real: Michael Madsen, Harvey Keitel, Kevin Bacon, James Caan, Al Pacino, David Carradine, Iggy Pop...
Hermes, yeah true but I still am attracted to lists they're fun and reassuring. Probably it shall become a private solitary amusement.
I didn't talk about the post but these comments are more and more often about lost youth and all which is a great topic, the best films and novels are about that, but I feel kind of out of place in this sighing and looking back with wet eyes.
Sar-
As an older woman I don't feel the fascination has anything to do with experience.
I believe it's because we really don't care if and when they leave...
Men dislike clinging women.
I would like to hear Hermes thoughts.
wow, that last comment's an unexpected headtrip.
i wish you better times ahead, ally. there's not really much anyone can say except the redundant "i'm so sorry" stuff that we all really mean but comes out sounding so incredibly ingenuine.
hermes, making out woulda rocked, huh? i once threw up a little on myself right before the opportunity to make out. i next found myself avoiding him by sitting on the floor and listening to the lucinda williams benefit album.
nothing like a drinking weekend in a ski cabin.
(thelastditch@blogspot.com)
Sar and SierraBella. Lots of guys prefer older women because they feel they are more sexually liberated. More willing to follow their impulses and throw caution to the wind.
As for myself, I don't have a preference in physical age. However, I DO prefer women who are emotionally secure, life experienced, and most importantly... educated. Older women tend to have this quality. However, I've met brilliant younger women who possess a biting wit and a sharp sense of humor, as well as older women whom still act like 18 year old, self-absorbed, oblivious teenyboppers. Confidence is also a huge contributing factor.
Ally. The woman in the conversation knew how to play the game. She had her own agenda, be it ulterior or blatantly obvious, and she adhered to it. You... are exactly right and... you have my condolences. For what it's worth.
LeeLoreya. Iggy Pop? He looks like a raisin on steroids and heroin.
you're on some fluid shit here - great read and I can't wait 'til you get your tattoos out - is there one really on your brain?
Oh Hermes,
Do you do this to make us like you?
Your very shrewd, you know. You wrote once that you've accepted you will never be famous, but your going about fame little by little. I see through your ploy!
Reqruiting women to yuor blog, making them fall in love with you, and them WHAM! You'll release a book and instantly thousands of copies will be bought. These women will tell their women, whose men will pick up the book and realize its not just a girl thing, your a damn good writter in addition to being oh so sexy.
And so begins Hermes world domination. When your King may I have a room in your house because I discovered your plan first?
Ruksak. My brain is actually not there, it itself is a tattoo. An illusion. It rotted into oblivion a long time ago.
Kirsi. Recruiting women to fall in love with me? World domination? God how I wish my plans were this diabolical and nefarious. You might be confusing me with Underhill.
I'm just a boy with a blog.
Kirsi, not that I'm not happy to hear you say this. It mean's I must be doing something right...er, I mean wrong. I do appreciate the feedback you give, and I will continue to try and please.
Gama. Likewise. I appreciate you swinging by. I hope to read more of your work in the future.
Mister Underhill. I study from the master. Remember, there are always two.
Mister Underhill. I received a couple of remarks that the game presented in this post wouldn't work. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn't, but if one possessed stunning good looks like yours, anything's possible.
In all actuality, words wouldn't even be necessary. Just a "come hither" look.
sooo....after all this comments it seems oh so unnecessary to add yet another one...but i can't help it: first of all, this is a very WELL condensed situation which probably happens allt he time in many variations. In fact, it happens to me a lot, not in exactly this style but the playing with words, customs, opinions, energy - is, uhm, my sister would say it is air to breathe. I would have gone to this guys house and would have had a great time having mind-sex (you don't have to get your clothes off yet....yeeeeeee)and enjoying a crazy encounter...a genuine encounter. I think the morals are good to protect us from losing too much energy, as women inevitably tend to be attached emotionally much easier than guys but in fact I think that actually going for those things and then giving them an unexpected turn (for example instead of having sex in his bed going for a beautiful morning walk to see the sun rise or do something crazy or, if you feel like, have sex outdoors or so) is what can make your life much more exciting and interesting and adds depth to it, as you open up and explore new horizons, new ways....
someone told me once, we should do every day something we never have done before...going into a second hand book store or climbing a tree or making compliments to strangers or whatever whatever.
i tried to live up to that and it proves to be damn fascinating!
i ll come here more often to see your wonderful writing....
piranha
To tie a knot to the topic, did ya manage to see all the threee tattoos at the end ?
Thanks for the visit.
Oh! Yes, I saw your bloated corpse floating in the deep blue ocean without any tattoos.
Piranha. Thanks for the comment. You're right. In order for life to remain interesting one MUST do things one normally wouldn't at least once...even a one night stand. I hope to see you around :)
Jac. I did. They were tasteless as I thought they would be. ;)
It is for piranhah to say if it is tastless or not or are you pulling her leg by giving a bite. They have sharp teeth to bite back.
I agree with some of the comments. 29, coming into my sexual peak, I met a man who looked EXACTLY like Joey Lawrence (I'm a dork, I know), but he was kind of punk at the same time. I had a very similar conversation after, maybe 2 drinks?
M-So am I going to be driving you to your car in the morning?
BP-Yes you are!
And being past the puppy-love, my boyfriend's so cute, blah blah, I knew what to expect the next day - nothing. And I enjoyed it.
Hermes - you're an amazing writer, I don't know what you are doing wasting your time writing for all of us!
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