It’s official. I no longer believe in the American Dream. In fact, I think I’ve given up on american ideals such as ambition, success, and independence altogether. The phrase "a dollar and a dream" does not apply to me. I will probably never own a two million dollar mansion and three benz's, or better yet, a bentley. I’ve given up on ever owning a private collection of Italian suits, shoes, and imported polyester hanging neatly and color-coded in a custom-built, unnecessarily large, walk in closet. In fact, I think the size of the house I live in right now IS the size of a closet, and no, it will not be featured on the next episode of "Cribs." I’ve given up on the notion of assigning myself a fancy title such as PHD, Dr., or Entrepreneur. I know I’ll never attend black tie dinners or entertain out of town guests by lavishly spending vast amounts of cash on lobster, steak, cocaine, strippers, and booze. I don’t think I’ll be spending long, languid days at the country club hitting the links and acting like a pretentious asshole resplendent in my “Izod” golf shirt and ridiculous looking shoes. I don’t think I’ll be “flying out of town on business” when in reality I’ll be fucking my mistress and/or pissing away my fortune at the blackjack table. Perhaps I’ll never have that multi-million dollar “dream” wedding, only to become a controlling prick, adulterer, and a wife-beater, and then have a very publicized, messy divorce the following year. Maybe I won’t travel to Hawaii or the Bahamas to “vacation” when in reality I will probably just play golf the whole time and drink, activities I would normally do here at home. Maybe I'll never vote for Bush or Cheney or any of those Republican, right-wing assholes. I doubt I’ll be seen at the Sundance Film festival comparing dick sizes with the likes of Ben Affleck and Michael Douglas. I don’t think I will be getting that coveted invitation to the Playboy mansion, or Puffy’s white party out in the Hamptons. I will never get "punked." My wallet will never house a gold, silver, or platinum card. I don’t think you’ll find my face in the latest episode of “Access Hollywood” or in the latest issue of “Us Weekly.” I don’t think I will be selling my soul to a golden idol and disrespectfully SHIT on those less fortunate than myself all along harboring an arrogant, ignorant attitude that I actually earned this tax bracket, that I actually EARNED my success because my parents convinced me I was unique and beautiful when they signed over the trust fund.
I will probably never be any of these things. Unfortunately, I will never live the American Dream...and I’m strangely glad.
27 comments:
so despite all this, you did believe in it for a while? and now you're stomping on your own sandcastle?
It's good to know someone will be missing over there. Now go and lecture the young thugs, try and get some followers you know.
so next choice, the american splendor?
LeeLoreya. I believe every young American is led to believe this at one point or another. After all, this is the "land of opportunity" right?
land of plenty as well no? land of plenty oppurtunity or plenty people to steal your opportunity, your big break? hurry hurry.
LeeLoreya. Opportunists Knock! Don't answer the door, pretend no-one is home!
Tacit. That's good. I think most reasonable people out there wouldn't choose this lifestyle, but you'd be suprised how many more would!
tacit, is that a hand on a trigger?
hermes, they're like insects, they'll chew you alive
no?
why is it land of oppurtunity anyway?is it because of the vast empty landscapes in between big cities, where you can hide away, or build your own village?
Is it wrong of me to want a Prada suit and an Audi A6?
When I was younger, I thought Alex P. Keaton was cool. Then I got to high school and disliked him. In college I despised him and wanted to disobey every rule I could, and get away with it.
Now, sometimes when I flip through the pages of Esquire or GQ, I want a nice black Prada suit and an Audi A6. That's all. No ten bedroom mansion, no TV that comes out of the floor. Just a nice suit and a car so I can wear the nice suit as I drive the car and go no place special.
LeeLoreya. It's the land of opportunity because it is the land of the "free." Of course, I haven't received my 40 acres and a mule as of yet.
Aydreeyin. Well...ahem, I actually own an Armani suit that I bought in Vegas (at 1/2 off right after New Years) I appreciate the finer things such as you do. I think the difference is: when we do acquire these things, we are grateful.
I could use an Armani suit. I've got a very nice DKNY suit (on sale), but I just want a nice black Prada suit.
Even if I had a winning lottery tix, I'd buy the suit on the cheap.
I always thought the American Dream was that one could attain wealth through hard work and maybe a little luck.
I attended a flea market in Marin County (home of the wealthy) when I was about 18. A young woman parked nearby in a beautiful Jaguar. She stepped out of the car wearing jeans, sandals and a top much like mine. At that moment I resolved to be like this woman, to work for the niceties yet remain who I really am.
I'm comfortable in my skin, even now, many years later.
If I aquired huge sums of wealth, I could throw an incredibly huge party! And I'd fly all my friends and fellow bloggers to the party. I could have the party at some fun resort - and it could last all weekend! I'd book the whole resort, so we didn't annoy or offend other guests - and the staff would be working only for us. After we'd all paried and then sobered up - maybe with a spa treatment and masssage - I'd fly back to my cozy little house in the country and look at the party photos I took about a hundred times. I'd email all my friends and we talk about how great the party was and laugh. Yeah...that would be cool. I don't give a crap about designer clothes, fancy cars or "being seen". But I'd like to throw that party.
SierraBella. Please don't think this post is directed at all rich people, because it isn't. It's a social commentary on the rampant greed, commercialism, and ridiculous fascination and worship of money and status so prevalent here in America. There's a distinct difference between those who earned it and those who inherited it and/or posture and flaunt it.
Wordwhiz. Wow, that sounds like the party of the century. I hope when you make it big, and you do realize this dream, I get an invite.
I'll bring the wonderjoints.
Sar. My dream, in case you're interested, is to be emotionally and mentally wealthy beyond compare. I'd like to be financially stable... plus or minus a few suits and a few nice pair of shoes. ;)
Aydreeyin. I'm a bargain hunter. I admit it, I get a thrill when I buy an otherwise ridiculously expensive suit or shoes, at an incredibly low price.
I used to own a black Prada suit. It was ruined in a fight. I loved that suit.
Hermes, ya pussy. Don't you know that Americans are supposed to be materialistic, self-absorbed, celebrity-obsessed me monkeys?
For God's sake man, where's your sense of patriotism?
That poor fucking suit. I think I'd be a big pussy in a Prada suit. You should have had your henchmen take care of that shitheel for you.
Surely any man in possession of a Prada suit can afford henchmen!
Hermes: Naturally you are invited - with or without the wonderjoints!
Like you, my dream includes emotional and mental wealth and financial stability - along with the ability to take a couple of cruise vacations a year and throw an incredibly awesome and WHOPPING big party annually.
Digitalicat. I'm the guy you'll find driving a rusted out Subaru station wagon from the 80's with a sticker on the back that reads "Fuck the Republican Party" next to the Darwin amphibian and the cannabis leaf...literally.
I think I might really be a Canadian.
Aydreeyin. Oh trust me I was always careful with that suit. It cost more than , well, MY VERY SOUL. I was jumped.
Wordwhiz. Speaking of cruises, I'm steadily saving up for my retirement as we speak. You have inspired me.
Hermes: I'll see you on board. Since I'll be there first, I'll keep an eye open for you.
(I'm taking 2 cruises in 2006 - one in January and one in February. I can't wait!!!)
Ah, but do you live in your Subaru down by the river?
Digital Cat: I also drive a Subaru and they are GREAT cars. Okay, I'm boring and practical - I admit it. I traded my previous Subaru in with 265,000 miles on it. My current one (both were bought USED) has about 120,000 miles. I figure it's got a couple more years to go.
Sar: OMG, cruises are awesome!!! It's a floating party!! You spend a week with the same people - like a small, travelling town. You're waited on hand and foot by staff who come to know your name, how you like your steak cooked, what you drink, etc. Great food, great music, tons to do! It's all inclusive, except for off-the-ship entertainment and BOOZE. (Smuggle some of your own on board...that will help.) I can't promote them strongly enough. CARNIVAL - it's for YOUNG PARTY people!! GO! GO! GO!
I think that gratitude for what you have is essential in not becoming a complete shitheel. I agree that the rampant accumulation of things for the sake of possesing them or visiting places to be seen instead of for the experience are definitely the worst aspects of the American Dream.
I also love my Armani suit, and got it 1/2 price too. Maybe I will wear it this weekend while baking. Because I can.
Hermes: You have developed a wicked huge female following. I'm just one of the bitches here. It used to be mostly Sar and me...a cozy little menage a trois. It was friendly. All this competition is so messing with my ego!!
Sorry...can you tell I've been drinking. Sleep now...I'll be coherant (maybe) in the morning.
money, fame, celebrity...they're all overrated. its false. its ugly...
Digitalicat. Not yet. Although at the rate I'm maxing out my credit cards and spending money on frivolous shit one day soon my possessions will be owning me.
I might have to work as a "motivational" speaker to help make ends meet.
Wordwhiz. What kind of a Subaru do you have? I own two cars. My Subaru Loyale that I described is my "beater" car but I LOVE it. It's so reliable. I take it camping and it's also the dog taxi.
Cheesecakey. What you said reminds me of that scene from "Pretty Woman" where Richard Gere comes home to find Julia Roberts waiting for him completely naked except for his tie and a cigar. Why I thought of that I have no idea.
Jasmine. I agree, nicely stated. I despise fake-ass people as well. It's refreshing to meet someone who is wholly true to themselves.
Mr. Underhill. How do you take your tea? One hump or two?
Forester - 1999.
I wanna be rich. I want the big fucking house on the water, but not California-style, BC-style.
You say you think you might be Canadian. What's your perception of a Canadian, then?
I want to be rich, yes, but I will never sell my values for top dime. That ain't my scene. I need to stay true to myself, and if I can do that and have the money I desire, life will be incredible.
When I say rich, I don't mean millionaire-- just where money's an afterthought and my house is paid outright, with a car or two to spare.
Money, to me, isn't a status symbol. It's gaining the means with which I can lead my life on my terms on my time.
It ain't the American Dream. Nor the Canadian Dream. It's the Steff Dream.
And I like it.
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