Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Carnal

The stale stench of sweat, shit, and cum lingers heavily in the cramped room. All three of us lie naked on the filthy mattress that lies on the filthy carpet nestled amidst piles of filthy clothes, rat turds, empty cans of Bud light, and dripping condoms. The room is dark. Shadows from the outside playfully dance on the adjacent wall. These shadow-puppets are hypnotic, and too far and few between. There aren’t many cars out at 3:45 am. The world is sleeping; including Angel and this disgusting whore we brought home who is lying between us.

I can’t sleep.

We both took turns fucking her in every possible hole. Male bonding. Angel says we are now “Carnales.” In Spanish “carnal” means “blood.” My cousin and I are now blood brothers. We’ve discussed it often: how hot it would be to tag team a bitch. Hours earlier, at the club, Angel talked me into bringing home M___, a girl I fucked. I asked him why. His response was immediate and predictable, “for a laugh of course.” This also happens to be our personal motto. I agreed and with a wry smile I invited M___ to come back to our place for “some drinks and some fun.” She agreed. Everyone wants to be loved you know.

Everyone is searching for a purpose.

“ Hey M____, you want to play a game”

“ It depends, what’s the game?”

“ You put on this blindfold and then you try to guess which one of us kissing you. If you guess wrong, you take another drink of beer. If you guess right, we drink.”

“ O.K, sounds fun.”


We fucked her. Hard. We wanted to hurt her. We wanted to make this moment an unforgettable one. She hungrily sucked our cocks and salty balls. We spit in her face. We double-penetrated her. We were caught in it, the delicious rage, so wonderful and intense and urgent. A torrid snapshot frozen in time. For the briefest moment I didn’t think about my life, my shitty job, my bills, my next fix, nothing, only the sensation; only M___’s pitiful, guttural sobs or the incessant, rhythmic slapping of our balls against her ass and chin. We focused on getting off again and again and again. The filthy bitch was a mere toy, a cum receptacle… nothing more, nothing less.

I pull my dick out of her ass, tear the condom off, grab M___ by her bottle-bleached blonde hair, and shove my cock in her mouth. I fuck her face as I shoot my hot spunk down her throat; my ass clenching and unclenching. She gags and chokes on what seems to be a gallon of hot, white shit. My cousin looks at me and giggles. I can’t help but laugh. I laugh at how fucked up the situation is. I laugh at the intense level of mordant disgust I feel. I laugh at how proud my parents must be of me, wherever the fuck they are.

We accomplished our goal though. Carnales to the end.

39 comments:

Adrian said...

Well then...You've been watching a lot of porn? God damn, man.

"Everyone wants to be loved you know." Great line.

Autumn Storm said...

I'm disgusted! Well written!

Scribe Called Steff said...

Lovely.

LMB said...

What?! Goddamn! Goddamn! GODDAMN! It's been awhile since I was in a three way, Hermes...and I don't hafta tell ya which part I played. Check out my blog entry for January 13, 2005, I still blush, carnal.

Unknown said...

hey man, you make us ALL proud...

...you were safe sexing it an all--

Hermes said...

Aydreeyin. No I haven't been watching porn, but life is pretty shitty right now.

Vexation. Bittersweet memories.

Autumn Storm. I disgust myself sometimes... with my actions. Ain't life fun?

Gee, I hope I don't get "flagged."

Jay. By all means ask. I'm just a mouse-click away.

Thanks for the VERY kind words.

Steff. Quite.

Desolation Angel. I checked it out. Very sordid. I like it. You were the "carnita" in a Mexican sandwich.

Ale. Of course I'm safe. We don't want any Hermes Jr's running around now do we?

Adams Avenue said...

I have to be honest. This post freaked the HELL out of me. I was scared for myself, as a woman, from this post. I hated all men for the rest of the day. Seriously.

Hermes - you write incredibly well.

Somehow this post reminds me of Jack. Remember Jack? I wonder what ever happened to him. . . .

Hermes said...

Colonialave. Better in thought and word than in action, right?

By the way, whatever happened to Jack?

Adams Avenue said...

OHhhhh boy.

Jack . . . is still a work in progress. I still need to work on how I'm going to terminate his sorry ass.

MrRyanO said...

Hermes! Wild, Bro! Every time I read one of your pieces I am amazed...simply amazed.

I loved the irony of the wild, unleashed sex with the thoughtfulness to wear condoms.

I also loved the line “Everyone wants to be loved you know.” I’m always in shock at what people will put themselves through to feel love…even if for only a few fleeting degrading minutes.

A powerful piece wrapped in the guise of a simple tag team. F’in awesome, man!

Hermes said...

Colonialave. Need a ghost write?

Rock Dog. Yes. Someone got it.

You nailed it, beautiful. Right on the money. Every nuance: the regret, the disgust, the stupidity.

Thank you.

Nicole said...

Everyone wants to be loved you know, yes, best line. I do have to say, ewwwwww.

Have you thought about the writing contest on Journalspace?

LeeLoreya said...

thank god i read this in the morning. the first line just completely sucks the reader into this hallucinating vortex.

extraspecialbitter said...

somewhere in the uncontrollable downward spiral of lust and loathing lies the heart of a true romantic. do I hear wedding bells?

Adams Avenue said...

Hermes - Let's do it. You let me know what you come up with. I'm sure it will be nothing less than perfect. You can email me at:

colonial_avenue@yahoo.com

Adrian said...

Let it all out, man.`

Valerene said...

i smell animals!!!

Rae Ann said...

I've always loved the word 'carnal' because it evokes that visceral stuff you described that we want to think of as being 'loved'. Though a good hard fuck that kind of hurts because it reaches so far inside is awesome. I like what jay said about the "most desirable taboo."

Scribe Called Steff said...

I answered your question on this topic.

Cunting Linguist.

Adams Avenue said...

Again reading it, this post forced me, as one of your most committed readers, to repetedly wash my hands like Lady MacBeth while constantly repeating the mantra: "OUT damned spot!"

Congratulations. . . . you did it Herm ;)

Hermes said...

Bipolar Princess. What if they don't like me? What if they say I'm no good? You know I just don't think I can handle that kind of a rejection.

LeeLoreya. Shut up. You had me at "sweat, shit and cum." You... had me at... "sweat, shit, and cum."

Extraspecial Bitter. Nah, always a best man never a groom.

Colonialave. Are you sure? It could get nasty. Instead of washing your hands a la Lady Macbeth you may need a colonic.

Tacit. Don't tell anybody, but we repeated it. With different girls! Shhhhhh.

Aydreeyin. You can be my wing man ANYTIME.

Valerene. Are you sure it's not "sweat, shit, and cum?"

Rae-Ann. We all need to let the animal out once in a awhile.

Steff. Very nice!

Adams Avenue said...

Herm - I'm sure it couldn't be worse than the "letter opener" incident I threw into the mix. OR the incident in Thailand that I haven't posted yet.

We'll see. You can suprise me. If you so dare to take up the challenge.

Anonymous said...

hey, this shit is something. I pity the gal but if she had fun then why the hell not?!


do u want to be loved too? ^-^

Hermes said...

^-^. We all do. Thanks for swinging by.

emeralda said...

everybody is looking for a purpose.
oh yes we all do

jazz said...

even i felt like i'd been used after reading this one.

to be fair, if she didn't want it to happen she could have stopped it...

Scribe Called Steff said...

Oh, that's IT? "Very nice." Pfft.

No more answers for you! I at least deserve a COMMENT after that.

Men.

(Those curious about the discussion can click here.)

Hermes said...

Piranha. Even among the castoff's and dregs who lurk on the outermost fringes of society and sanity?

Jasmine. Of course. "No" means no. She was a big girl, she knew what she was getting into... that is... if this even happened.

Valerene said...

yes, hermes, animals have sweat, shit and cum. and the lust... it makes it all hotter and alluring.

LMB said...

But what about all that rat shit laying around? That's just filthy!

LMB said...

And going through these comments, Hermes, are we the only ones that like to fuck? I mean really enjoy a good romp without strings and baggage? Some of the Victorian comments I read are shocking me more than your triple X smack down.

Relax, it's just sex.

emeralda said...

well yes, but the way it was described it wasn t just sex desolated angel. if you ask me ;)
the absurdity of the situation, the mere, well, mechanical satisfaction so to say is really well done highlighted. when i compare this post with other sex posts hermes has written so far i can tell here is a difference and each and every time you could say 'well, uhm, it's just sex!'
but no, i don t think that this is what pure sex is all about. but maybe it s the same with love and sex: love has many faces and so sex probably does as well.
lol , now i get phiosophical but it s already late...;)

and i guess you have to be a woman to understand those 'victorian comments'. 'just sex' does and should include a woman who says that. and who enjoys it. and she might have enjoyed it but the way it is written you can t tell. and as a woman you think that most probably she didn t really, but then again, it s not the focus of attention and not so important but its part of the statement.

oh well. i go to bed now :)

Hermes said...

Sar. Your anger and disgust is a compliment. It means I conveyed my message. It means I moved you. I pissed you off. You walked away feeling SOMETHING. Good or bad, I love being reminded I can still feel.

Valerene. Dirty sex can be very hot. If anyone admits they've never indulged once or twice is either a fucking liar, or incredibly fucking boring.

Desolation. Angel's crib was filthy, what can I say? The rats had names you know... there was this one rat, a hooded rat with white paws. He was adorable. I named him Bonkers.

Piranha. I'm mixing it up a little.

You know, writing is like dreaming. When you dream, you get all of that crap you've been storing OUT of your subconscious. Same concept.

Rae Ann said...

"You know, writing is like dreaming. When you dream, you get all of that crap you've been storing OUT of your subconscious. Same concept." I was just thinking about that last night.

Hermes said...

Tattooed Brain. To be completely honest with you, I haven't hit rock bottom... yet. I hope I never do. This particular snapshot in time, whether it was real or not, was during a dark time. But this time also produced a lot of good... I learned so much so I attribute it as an enlightening time. I discovered me.

So I guess you could say it was a moment on the continual "flatline" known as my life.

Steve. We're drawn to the dark side of human nature whether we choose to admit it or not like flies are drawn to rotting meat or dogshit.

Eric Heald-Webb said...

I've been following your posts for a month (or so) now, and I'm always reaching for that question, 'is it real, or not?' I see you have a lot of people asking that, so I won't. I will say that as far as fiction goes, most of what I've read is very dark, intense, powerful stuff. Detailed, well written, but half the time I'm wondering... well, why?

And as far as writing contests go, if you never submit, you never win...

Hermes said...

Eric. Thanks for reading, and an extra thanks for taking the time to comment.

To answer your question: why? The words choose me, not vice versa.

It's not always doom and gloom though. There are quite a few happy, optimistic pieces... that is... if you dig.

LMB said...

You named the rat Bonkers? You always seem to bring a smile to my face...Continue on, Hermes, and don take no shit offa dem honkies!

SeaKitty said...

well, at least you used condoms