Rollbacks and Fatcats

Ah Wal-Mart: a veritable human zoo, a frenzied gathering of commerce and consumerism. Where I live, a melting pot where the dregs and castoffs of society, including myself, all meet in pursuit of the “perfect” deal. To buy shit we don’t really need because prices have been cut and inventory is limited, and failure to act on this undeniable impulse may lead to many sleepless nights of sticky regret. You may or may not know this, but you NEED that Ronco brand slicer and dicer. You need that all inclusive car cleaning and detailing kit complete with a real leather shammy. You need that George Foreman grill. Plus, where else can you buy cheap electronics, tasteless clothing manufactured with love by an 8-year-old Honduran girl, or boxes and bags galore of calorie loaded junk (with half the carbs and minus the trans fats, of course)?

I love Wal-Mart. They treat me good. They understand. They understand that the customer, no matter what the circumstances are, is always right. The customer is king because in reality, their customers will always be serfs. We need to feel special. We need validation and Sam understands this. Why shouldn’t I return that vacuum I bought 6 months ago which now doesn’t work? I threw away the box, and I lost the receipt, so? Why shouldn’t I exchange that game-cube I won in an office raffle for a Playstation? I didn’t even buy the fucking thing at Wal-Mart, hell I didn’t even buy it, but who cares? It all balances out in the end. Weights and measures daddy-o, weights and measures. The fact is I speak for the unseen majority. We live paycheck to paycheck because we choose to buy junk at an irresistible price.