Tuesday, November 01, 2005

a space odyssey

And here I sit in my shiny, tin-foil moon hat, an effective tool to keep out the uv, crisscrossing mind probes emitted by the silver, mouthless men who poke and prod and lodge strange objects into our rectums and guts intent to break, dominate, and inseminate. I feel like Harry Mudd resplendent in my oversized fur coat and gold loops, intergalactic peddler of poon and green skinned martian women who happen to know how to belly dance. Mysterious. Dark alluring eyes shining in half-light around the fire pit lodged there in blue cheese, cardboard moon rocks. Supersonic spaceflight once thought impossible achieved in waking dreams by brave men with feathered 70's disco hair and half-capes... High adventure. Awkward drive-in makeout sessions, hot and heavy and intense, 2 for 1 specials complete with popcorn, fogged windows, and premature ejaculations. In Dad's car, in the dark, dick sucked to flickering celluloid images of Jane Fonda in quasi-futuristic shimmering half-shirt, short skirt, and thigh-high go-go boots. Schlocking images of whirling twirling pie plates disintegrating Manhattan while people point and scatter, purses and fedora's in hand. Shock and awe late fifties pulp entertainment a reflection of the age's intense cold war belief in Roswell and zig-zagging, impossible fly-by's reported by honest air force test-pilots named Chuck, Buzz, or Charley. Strange lights. Queer sights. Jim, Bones, and Scotty, and an assortment of nameless, expendable red shirts beaming down to a parallel earth where Germany won cause they got the atom bomb before us.

19 comments:

darkmuze said...

Just curious, did u take literature in school?

LyZa said...

what's with you and this sex adventures that makes my arector pili muscle go overtime? ^_^ LOL.

Hermes said...

Muse. I have a pretty solid background in lit, however, I have an advanced degree in television and cinema.

Lyza. This post wasn't "sexy" was it?

Red Egg. Why would you have a problem with one of the finest 60's space films EVER?

Or are you a prude?

Adams Avenue said...

Awkward drive-in makeout sessions, hot and heavy and intense, 2 for 1 specials complete with popcorn, fogged windows, and premature ejaculations.

Ahhhh . . . those were the days. Just thinking about them makes me smile. And reminds me how much adolescence mimicks adulthood, except instead of a drive through, it's a club, and the 2 for 1 specials are all rail drinks, and fogged windows are replaced by smoke, and well . . . the premature ejaculations are relpaced by hot sex in the taxi on the way home.

-G.D. said...

I'll read the story once I get over the fact that you've unveiled yourself.

Hermes said...

Colonialave. The taxi? Wow, you get right down to business huh?

G.D. Yeh. For better or worse...

Adams Avenue said...

Ahhh you're changing pics today too.

I got bored with the Cats look. And you know me. The ever psychadelic chameleon. Nice pic, hun.

And about the taxi thing - it depends on how the rest of the night went to determine what goes on on the way home.

LMB said...

Far out! Anyone that can list the titles of all films mentioned gets a reach-around!

I love sci-fi, the cheesier the better! Two short films I did in Tijuana that got standing ovations and lotsa laffs was "Flying Saucers over Tijuana" (Yes! Strings and pie plates! Sex craved aliens in tinfoil!) and "Attack of the Fiftey Foot Midget" (Carnies! Aliens! And one pissed off Mexican Midget!)

Hermes said...

Colonialave. Yes, change is in the air.

Desolation Angel. I would seriously like to see your films... they sound absolutely fucking hysterical.

I'll send you a little cash and my mailing address, send me copies.

Vexation. Care to buy a tribble?

Sealegs said...

You forgot DISCO SKATING!!! arg... the evilness of this transgression!

I don't care if everyone thinks this era sucked because I love the grooviness of this era. oh I love it. love it. love it.

I like your new picture. I was curious about the rest of your face. it passes my quality control.

LH said...

Popcorn?!

Inside the colorful, descriptive, somewhat jaded mind of Hermes...I imagine something a little more fitting to go with the vibrant picture you painted. Such as, a guilt-free Jetsons inspired food pill maybe? Never mind. The 1970s eco-disaster cult flick, Soylent Green sort of ruined the idea of techno space food. I don't want to imagine belly dancing poon and green skinned martian women eating people. (Egads)

"Shock and awe late fifties pulp entertainment a reflection of the age's intense cold war belief in Roswell and zig-zagging, impossible fly-by's reported by honest air force test-pilots named Chuck, Buzz, or Charley."

Brilliant.

Unknown said...

i guess since i've never had the pleasure of going to a drive in movie i'm totally missing out... on all that good popcorn and ...stuff

-jkg said...

nice sensation.

Hermes said...

Sea Legs. it passes my quality control.

So does this mean you're not going to stamp the word "REJECT" on my forehead in big, red letters?

Exploring. Soylent Green IS PEOPLE!!

Ale. You're not missing out on much... don't worry.

jkg. Thanks.

LyZa said...

for me it is. Just the way you write it makes me wonder some things that I have been missing out.

extraspecialbitter said...

the things that go through your head during a blow job at the drive-in...

Hermes said...

Lyza. I also write about a lot of things you definitely SHOULD miss out on... but thanks, I'm flattered.

Extraspecial.

Drive-In blow job.
Could you pass the popcorn
and soda?

Vexation. Just don't get 'em wet or feed them after midnight... hey wait-a-minute....

Trena said...

AAH! I vaguely recall High Adventure. Very Funky, Funky, Funky, Cat.

"Free Your Mind and Your Ass will Follow" The Funkadelics High on Jimmy Hendricks

LyZa said...

oh, come on.. I'm not that innocent anymore :-(