I think it might be over.
You called the police and I quickly left, not because I did anything wrong mind you. I simply didn't want to have to take an hour out of MY precious life explaining myself - clarifying my innocence - to a couple of dictatorial, asshole cops. In addition, I really can't afford to be late for work again because you and I decided to spend yet another long night "talking" about it which usually entails hashing and rehashing the same tired issues over and over and over and over again.
" All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
No. What is on second base.
I'm not asking you who's on second.."
Like that scene in "Crime and Punishment" where the horse is beaten beyond death into the realm of the delirious... of the macabre... that is our relationship. Those are our "talks." That is my emotional state and well being right now. I'm really, really tired J____. Furthermore, the fact you dialed 911, on my cell phone, on my minutes, and requested an officer's assistance because you mistakenly thought I "might" become violent is preposterous and inexcusable... especially while my phone is roaming.
Yeh, I'm afraid it's fucking over.
19 comments:
Love how you sneak in "especially when my phone is roaming."
Definately got a kick out of that - even though the whole situation is fucked up.
And hey, welcome to the club. Indulge in singularity. It's a good time.
"especially while my phone is roaming"
This will be a classic line eyars from now!
Interesting piece, Hermes. Short and to the point, but nicely detailed.
she used your minutes? that's got to be the equivalent of selling your soul behind your back. may she be condemned to use only broken pay phones for the rest of eternity...
Dude, it's totally over.
And switch over to T-Mobile, they have the most whenever minutes so you can call anyone anytime without overages.
Hahaha... I just cracked myself up.... while you're in misery.
I should be shot.
"...while my phone is roaming."
Classic. Love it!
That relationship sounds much too tiring...
Why stay with someone who interferes with such top priorities: Sleep and a minimal cell phone bill? No brainer?
Colonialave. What happens if I overindulge?
RockDog. Just a snippett.
Extraspecial.
Last night we fought -
I lost my minutes and my cool,
the dog slept soundly.
Snakehead. Can you hear me now?
Exploring_Idly. O.K just to clarify, I'm not cheap... I'm frugal.
Darling. . . if you over indulged you'd just be a mirrored image of myself.
And well. I can't complain.
You'll always have Paris...then throw her ass in front of the taxing plane.
You sure know how to pick 'em....
Hopefully the sex, while it lasted, was good.
The widening "grrr?"
Colonialave. Mirror version? Like when the crew of the Enterprise encountered interdimensional, darker versions of themselves?
Desolation Angel. You can't live with 'em, you can't kill 'em, cut off their head and hands, leave their body in a landfill, and bury your sack of goodies somewhere in the deseret?
G.D. funny you should mention that. Check out THIS post.
Hermes, I love that Star Trek episode!!! When the evil Spock tortured that transporter guy with his Electronic Titty Twister! Hot!
Nah, just crack 'em out, turn 'em out and have them bitches bring you yer money...or whack 'em if they don't. (Send the hate letters now, ladies!)
And I linked onto your requested post for G.D.,---Filthy, just filthy...
Hogwarts?!!! I can't stop laughing! I was going for the swarmy traveler look. I didn't shave for two days, clothes haven't been changed in same amount of time, Hunter S. Thompson cigarette, bed hair...
Hogwarts. heh. Heeheeheeheehee. If I had witches powers in a boys home!
Dammit Hermes, I used that Star Trek reference already.
And can't speak for any one else, but there may not be a more awkward and painful time than the space between when it is over and when we admit it's over.
Re: "Thanks Stranger" I'm still reading every post. (They have all been good in individual and differing ways) Always enjoy my visits here :-)
Hmmmm . . . would that then make you an interdimensional darker version of myself?
Maybe that's why I don't recognize the face in the mirror when I wake up in the morning.
Ok, Frugal Frank. My niceness stops here. Quit draining excessive brain power worrying about your damn cell phone minutes and spend that time releasing more wicked venom from your writing lifeline. More! More! I am so addicted.
Desolation Angel. I watched way too much Trek when I was a kid. I also smoked a lot of weed then too. Star Trek and green go together like P.B and J
You know, I think you may have inspired me to redo my profile pic this weekend.
Jeckles. It is very akward phase but we always still do it. We delay the inevitable, impeding break-up because we are all complascent chickenshits who are scared of change.
Autumn Storm. I hope you continue to enjoy your time here then.
Colonialave. "that's why I don't recognize the face in the mirror when I wake up in the morning."
Are you sure it's not the bed hair, swollen eyes, and bad breath? ;)
Exploring_Idly. I'm cooking up my next batch on a bent, rusty spoon. I promise it'll take you someplace magical.
Red Egg. "A bit of a drama queen isn't she?"
Aren't they all?
Possibly. But you've never complained about it before. ;)
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