Friday, July 01, 2005

The people in your neighborhood

We were living in that posh downtown apartment, the same apartment that almost broke us - that tiny, ordinary, overpriced, 7th floor apartment. It was the one with the stunningly amazing view of the entire twinkling, teasing, winking town. You fell in love with that view from the outset, on our very first walk-through, when we were posing as husband and wife. You fell in love with the view, and I, the materialistic fool, fell in love with the status living in this apartment afforded... even though we couldn't really afford it. That apartment, so generic and plain and un-extraordinary, gave us bragging rights. It was a flimsy mask I wore with pride.

That was yesterday.

“Where do you live?”

In this city, this is always the first question anyone ever asks - these four words. So empowering.

A complete stranger, some pretentious bitch on the subway: a coked-out "model" knee-deep in the scene, and her own bullshit, gives the usual line of questioning... "So where do you live, on what street?" Then she THINKS she instantly knows ME wholly.

“Yeah, I'm on 73rd.”

Cue the flashbulbs as they rat-a-tat-tat in her hollow head, fucking braindead; a sqeeky wheel, the hamster needs to be fed. Neurological connections attempted to be made... “Oh bourgeoisie. Most likely pulling 5 figures. Barely getting by, vying for his piece of the pie... but he’s kinda cute... but broke. I don’t roll with that”

“Yeah, fuck you too bitch, like I give a damn.”

It’s definitely all about the space; where you hang your hat. Who’s got the nicest flat. Who’s got the hippest pad. It’s all about the latest technological fads, plasma T.V widescreen DVD’s, MP3’s. It’s a portable, compact, plastic, blue-tooth world…

Makes me want to fucking hurl.

30 comments:

Hermes said...

Tacit. I haven't been to a class reunion... nor will I ever. Or maybe I should... it would make for some great writing.

Maria said...

Ohh so true! I can't agree more with you.

LeeLoreya said...

nothing to add, only "me too" to...bourgeoisie and hurling.

Adrian said...

Class reunions. The school wants money, your old friends want to know how much money you've got. I think I'll attend my next one to just see how everyone's aged and what this bitch of a life has done to them.

I'll tell everyone I'm a proctologist. That ought to be fun.

Need I say it? I enjoyed this one, also.

Hermes said...

gobabygogo. Thanks for stopping by.

LeeLoreya. "ME TOO... to bourgeoisie and hurling." In that order?

Aydreeyin. Proctologist... that's good. I think at my next renuion, if I decide to go, I'll tell everyone I'm a "writer"... and broke.

Joe said...

Are you really going to hurl? Try to give me some advance notice so I can make sure my Treo 650, iPod Photo 60GB, and Dell Axim PocketPC are all out of the way.

Hermes said...

Where do you get those wonderful toys?

By the way... you suck.

Nick Danger said...

Fuck the Jonses! Hermes you come out here to the sticks, stay a while with old Nick Danger. My PC doesn't even have a case. I have a Dolby 5.1 system I made the decoder from radio Shack parts and the speakers are all "hand me downs" A few stoned days at the Danger Compound will do you right. People will ask you where you live and you'll say..."home"

Hermes said...

Nick Danger. You know what? I'm down to get dangerous at the compound. In fact, I just might have to take you up on that offer... I need to get the fuck outta dodge.

I'll bring the Coronas and a small baggie of chron.

shana p. said...

me too.... my sister lives in your neighborhood and she brings the attitude/way of life with her when she visits... it makes me giggle, because it's like she's one of those Russian dolls and only when you remove all the layers do you find the tiny, cute, real one.

LeeLoreya said...

or, as donkey said in shrek (what a great reference eh)
like onions

Nick Danger said...

The offer wasn't made lightly. We are re-locating the compoumd on July 22nd. We will require a few weeks to re-establish security and communications. Then we'll be ready to offer sanctuary to those nuts enough to take it. Bring the smoke if you want if not we'll take care of ya. Danger

LeeLoreya said...

you're an exotic foreigner from outta space who laughs out loud on subways. No wonder people eye you weird. ;)

Hermes said...

Cheesecakey. The city forces you to build a hard outer shell. A lot of the time, the insides dry out or harden as well.

Danger. Sometime in August, huh? God knows I'm nuts. Even nuttier after a few puffs, caps, tabs, and stalks.

I'll remember your offer, and... thanks again.

Sar. Clubbing buddies... After a few beers and shots, you'll toast life and love, they'll tell you they love you like a best friend. Then you part ways never to see each other again.

WordWhiz said...

Funny...I just posted something about people who try to project an image of something they are not.

I work with a lot of highly-educated, status-chasing, got-to-be trendy people. While nice enough, some of them live in a world so completely foreign to me. A world where it's a bad week if you can't make it in for your facial. A world where it's humiliating to be seen driving the Honda Accord that the BMW dealership gave you as a free loaner while servicing your Beemer. A world where it's no big deal to be carrying two million-dollar mortgages because you bought the second house before your first house sold. (Don't ya hate it when that happens??) In the meantime, I have duct tape holding on the side-view mirror of my six year old car because there ain't no way I'm paying the dealership $400 to replace it. $400 for a freakin' mirror?? Are they INSANE?? Thank goodness for duct tape!!

Mr. Clean, huh?? Hmm...

SierraBella said...

I have a family member in that mindset.
It's such a waste of time and energy, but I enjoy the hand-me-downs I receive.

shana p. said...

hmmm.... It doesn't seem like YOUR insides have dried out...

RuKsaK said...

Yeah - I got my ipod photo now and if I take it with me into the fringes of my soul - it makes me want to hurl a load as well.

Oh, and, as usual, great writing - a genuine piece of vitriol served on an urban platter - good fucking work again Hermes.

Scribe Called Steff said...

Shrug. I'm down with materialism. I just don't make the mistake of believing it adds any kind of substance to who I am.

It just makes my life more comfortable.

That said, I was lucky (aside from the mom-dying shit) and inherited nice furniture, so I didn't really have to swank shit up. I just had to buy the few things I did need-- a tv, computer, etc-- when the time arose, and I bought good shit on good deals.

In the end, I look like I've got more than I do, and if I can play that role, then so be it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having the toys. Just don't let it get to your head.

And hun, you're deluding yourself if you think this is some classist movement by ignorant people. It's human nature--bionature, really.

Apes sniff each other for status or judge bodily markings to learn of status.

We do the same thing with our credit cards. Whatever. Sucks, but there you have it. Not sure it's worthy of my vitriole. Just my derision.

-G.D. said...

I don't mind swimming in an ocean of idiots...Makes the rare and magnificent moments when you meat someone who is real and whole, all the more meaningful. I used to wonder why these one-dimensional people exist in the first place...in my space, they exist to provide contrast.

LyZa said...

People will be people.

-G.D. said...

ummm...I meant, when you "MEET" someone. LOL. Now I know it's been just too long. Damn I need to get laid....pronto!

extraspecialbitter said...

What would we be without social stereotypes? Human, perhaps?

Hermes said...

Cheesecakey. Who said I still live in the city? Maybe I got the fuck out before I petrified. ;)

Ruksak. I own gadgets as well. I don't know what I would do WITHOUT my i-pod.

I think the end might have been a bit misleading. The vitriol was aimed more at shallowness, and the immediate stereotyping that accompanies it.

Steff. I could care less whether I look successful or not... like I've "made" it? Wealth and material possessions don't equate success to me... never have... I know you're of the same school of thought.

Frankly, I don't give a fuck. I've noticed my attitude or financial status hasn't hampered my ability to meet women... or maybe those were one night stands and they don't count. I'd best change my attitude before my looks fade away cause they're temporary... and Diamonds last forever.

G.D. "they exist to provide contrast." I like that... Or... they exist to make us laugh, to entertain us, to love us, and to fuck us.

Damned Queen. Who was it who said "People who love people are the happiest people in the world?"

Hermes said...

Extraspecial. It's the social stereotypes that make us human. Perhaps without them we'd be godlike... and boring.

LizParker said...

great post. I shall be watching for more.

Scribe Called Steff said...

I've never cared much if my men have money. I'm more attracted to guys who drive old cars from the 70s and shit, who keep their integrity and don't have massive monthly loan payments.

First thing I wonder when I see flashy guys is how much of their image has a monhtly minimum payment attached.

I've gone out with a number of supposedly fucking successful guys of late and I'm all burnt out. It was such bullshit. A few free drinks and nothing but plastic on the side.

As for me, I'm more concerned personally with style, and nothing more.

After all, I ride a scooter, for God's sake. Heh. But it's a cute chromed-up retro badboy. But nonetheless.

(GayBoy started that blog, by the way.)

Scribe Called Steff said...

(And it's every bit as shallow and vacuous as I'd thought it'd be. Heh.)

emeralda said...

well not everywhere hermes. not everywhere... go to berlin and admit the fact that this city is just the fuckin coolest place on earth to be. the unexpected is the cool here....
:)

Hermes said...

Piranha. When I do my European tour I'll call you up. ;)