Bouffant Buffoonery

Why is it when a woman reaches a certain age she’ll inevitably cut her hair the same boring, generic way? You know what I'm talking about. If you ever dine at Marie Calendar's, the Sizzler, or any Las Vegas buffet I’d bet you a buffalo nickel you’ll find a table full of blue-haired beauties that all look the same... a Barbara Bush daisy chain. This hairstyle defies ages, eras, gravity and logic. When I was a lad, oh... twenty years ago, old ladies had this universal "do" even then, way back when. Now I‘m a grown-ass man, and they STILL sport the same coif. I don’t mean to scoff. I used to theorize it was the style that was popular when they were young, and this is an attempt to relive those by-gone days... well, if that's the case, why have old ladies sported this same drab style for the past century? Perhaps it's a low maintenance alternative? Last I checked, retired elderly women have plenty of time on their hands to style their hair and impress their friends. Perhaps it looks fuller and rounder? A perfect compliment to the blue eye shadow, soft slippers, and the string of pearls. Women do tend to lose hair as they age just like men. I don't know, perhaps I’ll never know. I guess this will remain an eternal mystery. The acquired mastery of the curling iron and blowdryer escape me.