It's not a silly little moment
It's not the storm before the calm
This is the deep and dyin breath of
this love that we've been workin on.
You know I was struck the other day by the thought we’ve seen our best days, and here we are, in our last days, fighting so hard to delay what will inevitably come. I hear you in the other room, the soft clink of a plate or the dull drone of the TV, another world, as I sit here in mine. We pass each other by like ships in the night in the fog and all I can see is the dull, dead light in your eyes as we try and try and fail and fail to put on the happy face we should for our little one. And he knows something’s wrong, he definitely knows, in his godly wisdom, he so fucking knows and it breaks my heart.
I still care, I do. You are my best friend. You are the greatest lover I’ve ever had. But the domestic stillness is destroying us fast. And maybe it’s me, I have my problems, God knows, I have my problems, and you have yours and maybe we need to fix ourselves before we can fix our love. But we do not have a lot of time, every day he learns a bunch of new words and he’s growing up so fast and if we don’t get our shit together he will continue to fade completely away into his own little world of dogs and trains.
He flinched the other day when I went to hug him.
If we were friends, if that is possible, friends like when we first met… then maybe Mommy and Daddy wouldn’t yell at each other anymore.
6 comments:
It is only through the heart of a child, and no other, that I come to know what Gibran means ...
From A Tear And A Smile:
Dry your tears, my darling, for love that has opened our eyes and made us its servants will grant the blessing of patience and forebearance. Dry your tears and be consoled, for we have made a covenant with love, and for that love shall we bear the torment of poverty and the bitterness of misfortune and the pain of seperation.
I, in no way, mean that one should stay in a damaging relationship. Rather, that your thought of concentrating on getting yourself together may be the way to clear the fog and make your way to a sense of peace that does not have to be donned on. A way to be honest with your son ... no matter what happens. Maybe I'm too cynical, but perhaps (only at this point in time), happiness has nothing to do with it.
i know a little of what your going through. all the answers are so unclear. i hope youre well.
Don't give up. Find yourself within her again - give it time, and make the effort. Happiness will return again, and your little boy will know it.
Remember me? It's Ol' Colonialave. I'm back, at a different local.
I'll be lurking around. It's something I do best . . .
Differences AGAIN.
... talk to us some more, Hermes, My Prince ...
... beyond the gilded page ... cover the tracks with your small wooden broom ...
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